After a Stroke

While you are recovering from a stroke you will feel so many emotions. Each day could be completely different from the previous day. It is definitely a "one step forward, two steps back" process. My stroke occurred back in April on Easter weekend. I lost my entire right side which I have regained very quickly though not completely and far from perfectly. As I sit here typing I have to retype words several times because I invariably hit the incorrect key. When I am tired, the mistakes occur more frequently. I seem to be very tired these past few days. Every time I think I can manage being busy for an entire day, I will feel ill the next two. I used to wake up with headaches each morning but the headaches have slowly dissipated. I still get them, just not as frequently. Today is a headache day.
Emotionally I am feeling a little lost. Normally I feel excitement about a project I am working on or an article I am writing. Today I feel a slight panic from not feeling any excitement for anything. I just want to feel well and be healthy again. It's a long road though and I feel like I don't have the energy to get there. My doctor, whom I see tomorrow, told me at the beginning to not give into the depression that inevitably comes. I feel it trying to take hold. I feel like nothing is quite right with my body. I'm a little frightened that I will never completely recover.
This is just today though and just for this moment. I write this to vent but to also reach out to those who may be feeling the same thing. Even while I sit here in the fog I know the day will clear and I will be able to see far beyond my own limitations. Today may be another day just to take it easy. I think I will call my friend, Meg, who writes also and possibly better, to write something for Women Talk. I don't want to abandon the column, I just don't have any inspiring thing to say at the moment. Meg might though.
My head hurts today. Thank God for spell check.